Lofty

This post was created somewhere around March.

(Still no internet at my place)

                         Sing, whenever there is wine,
               For life is as ephemeral

              As dew in the morning,

                               With the days to come numbered.

                Mind must be generous,

                             But seldom is it free from sorrow

That dissolves

            Only in a cup of wine. 

                                                            - The Martial Emperor of Wei 

...

It's been a pretty positive couple of weeks. 

     After a whole semester without working, I finally found a part-time job. I went from librarian to bartender. It came as a surprise to me when I got the message. I had joked around with M about covering her shift at the bar for her, but never thought that joke would actually get me somewhere. At the beginning I was completely skeptical about it, but now I love it. It's a nice once or twice in a week work with pretty good pay. I get to have fun, meet people and get them drunk. Now I understand why so many college students around the world bartend. 

     Spring Break is here! The island is full of "foreign" students (from the mainland) ready to have all kinds of fun and looking for locals to show them around. It's my favourite time of the year. One makes so many friends and shares experiences, making their stay and company one to remember for times to come. Also, they pay good tips. 

Art by: Jonathan Ortiz

     I turned 24 on February 20th. Time flies by. Each time one of my birthdays comes by I can't help but to go back to when I was 18 and I asked myself "How will I look like when I get to 21? Or 25? Where will I be?". Now I am one year away from 25 and I can't help but to ask myself the same thing about my 30's. Sometimes I wish I could stop time. But then again, I've learned enjoy the present and leave the past behind. Take what I need about it, apply it and just be happy. 

Let us read some quick points...

• Back to Seattle on March 27th! Airplanes make me happy. Food makes me happier though...
• New York, Las Vegas and Vancouver this summer? Make it a YES!
• My baby brother turns 16 on the 25th. He will finally get his driver's permit and I'll be there next to him to celebrate. So excited!
• I miss China... 
• That last point sounds a lot like something I wrote on my last post.
• Starting to plan a graduation trip. Backpacking through Europe next summer and maybe go back to China.
• I can't believe it's already been almost a year since Vancouver 2014. I miss those days.
• Alimony problem got solved and everything is good now.
• Mid-terms are here! I guess that stress makes me want to write.
• I am actually writing in class. The classmate in front of my is watching a soccer game.
• The more money I make, the more money I spend.

:)

Gape

My diary

March 20th, 2007

(Post written by my boyfriend back then)

     Muñequita, you have given meaning to my life. When my soul lacked hope and my heart had forgotten the meaning of the word LOVE, you appeared in my destiny. 

     I will never forget you, even if destiny makes us a foul play and we loose each other (which I highly doubt).

     How to forget the tenderness in your eyes, the softness of your hands, your beautiful voice, your body...; however, without doubt the most beautiful thing about you, what made me fall in love, you unique personality, affectionate, sweet; hard to forget.

I love you with all my heart,

C.A.

...

Why can't any story begin with "I was having this amazing ice cream..." 

Life happens. Sometimes I just don't have the time to write.

     Right now my roommates are reading my last blog post out loud. It's just too funny. It makes me question if all you read it in the same voice they are reading it. If you are, thank you. You get how non-serious this blog is.

Tuesday (October 7). A few things happened that day that I will list because of lazy not going into detail reasons.

• I got to see my friends G and JC, whom I hadn't seen in a long time. We had a nice lunch together. 
• I found out what was the application process for the after-college-job I want.
• Someone I "dated" called just to ask me if I knew someone who sold Adderall. Just because I used to be in Natural Sciences doesn't mean I know prescription drug dealers. (I've made some terrible dating choices, I know) 
• I had a drunk person come by apartment and start screaming my name  at 10pm.
• I couldn't finish studying for my test (replacement) because I had a drunk person trying to paint my hair with a black Sharpie.
• I was not a happy camper at the end of the night.

     It kind of upsets me when people who kicked you out of their life want to push themselves back in just when you are happy again. I personally think that it can be possible to be great friends with someone you've dated before. But what happens when you feel that person getting too clingy again? Most people would be "just tell him/her off!", but in my case I just KNOW the person will act defensive if I try and do that. I started trying distance myself, but then I get a drunk at my door. It's kind of frustrating because I honestly don't want it to affect my current relationship. That person had the chance to be with me and didn't appreciate it. It's been more than 6 months since the brake up with me (it wasn't even my choice!), it's time to move on to friendship. Not flirty-I-want-to-sleep-with-you friendship, but a nice healthy friendship.

Wednesday (October 8). I really need it to be Friday.

Then we get to this last week. Quick points!!

• I have nothing.
• OH! I went to Ponce on Saturday. That's where the picture was taken. Just wanted to get my mind off of things. Didn't really work that well, but at least I had a good sleep after that!
• I was attacked by a water fountain today at campus. I will not go into details, since I need to keep this PG. I will just say it felt somewhat like rape.
• I have a test tomorrow and I haven't read anything. Yes, I write this in almost every post. But it's because I am irresponsible like that sometimes...
• I found a organic market. Yay to eating healthy!!
• Remember kids: prostitution is illegal.

Feeling. Sick. Don't. Want. To. Study... 

(:

Tussle

I think I should do another diary post. 

... I should have marked the diary dates I already wrote about.

Been loosing some readers...

My diary
July 10, 2010

      As you would expect (if you do the math), I just "finished" my first university year (the quotation marks because due to the strike it actually finished the 28th of June) in the University of Puerto Rico, Río Piedras Campus. Yes! One of my dreams have become reality, even if there is still a long way to go. I am lodging with 2 of my best friends from high school, K & J. Our apartment is ... near the University Avenue (there are lots of bars) and it has 3 rooms. It the best freshman year! I discovered and learned so many things. Mi cognisance has been opened on so many ways that I can't even believe it. I met so many new people. Got drunk for the first time. Learned about infidelity, but I also learned about trust and love. I learned that sometimes is better to keep quiet and listen carefully, that sometimes we need to strive to be happy and keep that happiness at hand. It has been some really marvellous, good and not-so-good experiences that fills my heart with happiness just thinking about it.

...

Let’s start on Tuesday. Sometimes I like to think my life is full of this random moments that happen on a daily basis and make things interesting. I remember writing “I need to get out of my room more” and I am pretty sure my room read this and took it into his own to get me out of there. So my alarm sounds, I snooze it. It sounds again, more snooze. Some days I try to sleep the maximum. I wake up with just 40mins to get ready and head to class. I have to do an oral presentation for my first class, can’t be late. Having no time to waste, I head to the shower. I hate getting dressed in the bathroom, so I just take my towel with me. Done with shower, head to my room, turn the doorknob… it doesn’t open. Try again, nope. I do not have the key to the room, am late for class and everything is inside. I call my mom and ask her if I should break the door down (I have no idea how I intended to do that). She says to just get a hammer and break the doorknob. No hammer in my place. I look around for something strong enough to break it. Found a frying pan. I start hitting it with the pan. It breaks down. I am free to ender my room. I feel like a powerful person.

            So that was how my week started. Turns out my day was long from over. I had to run to class. Got there just in time. Got an A on my oral presentation (Achievement unlocked!). I had an interview, which ended up in me getting angry with the company and withdrawing my application. Because of a interview that led nowhere I even missed classes. But after that it was smooth sailing. Had someone stare at me in traffic while I ate (I was hungry; traffic was terrible; you can’t judge me; the struggle is real.). I would like to see it as funny and not creepy. Just a normal day.

          ... and then my hair is half salmon color, half black. This last weekend I decided I would dye my hair. I already knew I wanted to do it, but didn't actually make a move to get it. From wanting to dye my whole hair, I ended up just doing half of it. I want to make it look like a fashion statement, rather than a crazy metal girl who wants a rainbow in her head (nothing wrong with this). White is the desired color but, since my hair was originally dyed black, it will take more than 2 hair bleaches to get there. This means my hair will go under a lot of stress and it will take time. So I had to settle with salmon semi-permanent hair color so it wouldn't look as bad (I am not a blonde kind of girl). One of my professor saw me and asked "Did you ran out of dye halfway or is it a fashion statement?"

Time for quick points!

1. Let the countdown begin: 11 days to go.
2. Free salsa concert in campus last Thursday. I had an amazing time studying and then falling asleep. Good days...
3. Paid drinks karaoke Friday! Somehow I ended up drinking with Law School students (not my favourite bunch) and singing Bon Jovi classics on karaoke.
4. I am loving Peter Capaldi as the new Doctor.
5. Got some ice cream delivered to me today! (I am sorry. I love ice cream too much.)

Some thoughts:

          I am quite impressed with how much importance romantic relationships have on today’s society. Something that’s supposed to be between couples somehow ends up being a public spectacle. From where and how did you meet to how long have you been together, people want the “scoop” on the whole story behind your relationship. My discomfort began when, because of a small misunderstanding with a classmate, I decided to change my relationship status on Facebook. I’ve been in a relationship for a few months now and both my boyfriend and I felt like there was no need to tell the whole Internet we were together. The thing is I worry with the fact that I’ve been congratulated and asked for confirmation so many times. Relationships are normal and necessary part of that social interaction that happens throughout our lives. We all fall for someone and get our hearts broken at least once in our lifetime, so why congratulate someone on something that happens on a day-to-day basis to the vast majority of humanity probably since the first homo sapiens walked the Earth? It’s not like I am getting married (which we are taught it’s forever and I don't actually plan on doing) or anything. I just decided to share my life and make someone happy for an unknown amount of time. I am doing this because both he and I as consenting adults decided we wanted this. We are not looking for anyone’s approval or anything of the sort. Leave the congratulations for people who encounter a big life event like graduation, a baby or winning the lottery.





(:

Adjunct

I need to start being responsible with my blog again.

...

I can't find a "My diary" post to go with the mood, so I decided to leave it out just for today.

...

     This post is long overdue. Just as some other ones, I just forgot to publish it. The dates here are from 08-14-2014 to about 08-19-2014. I apologise for the delay, but the semester started and it's has not been easy.

...

     Although this week has been a long one and lots of things have happened, I can't say much this time. So let's see how this turns out...

     I feel it's kind of hard to write about this past week without getting into real personal detail-like things. Sure, I write about my days in school, travels, adventures and random things that happen in day to day basis. But when it comes to writing about days I spent with someone I love, I just stop myself. You see, I have become really protective with that. In past relationships third parties have become too involved. Sometimes because I let them, sometimes without my consent. What I have right now is too important and precious for me to just share everything out loud. With that said, I will try to write simple points of what I did this past week.

From Thursday to Tuesday:

1. I went out drinking to the University Ave the first Thursday of the semester. This means that many of the students were out having fun and meeting new people.
2. Old San Juan. SOFO Culinary Fest was going on. The town was full of food, drinks and people. I didn't know about it, so to get a table for dinner at my favourite restaurant, Pirilos, we had to wait for one hour and half. At least the wait was not boring.
3. Saw Guardians of the Galaxy. Loved the movie, hated the children who were in the theatre screaming all movie long. I thought if we went early there wouldn't be so many kids, but I was wrong. Still, it was a nice time and a nice movie. You should all watch it. Then a long drive to Aguadilla.
4. Yes to Crashboat! Went to my favourite beach again. Got a terrible tan. Had to put some aloe vera when I got home. At the end of the night we had a couples beer pong contest. It was a draw. We have to do a rematch to find who is the true Pokemon Master! Wait... I mean beer pong masters.
5. Lazy days! I love those kind of days when nothing mayor happens after having a really busy week. To just sit down, watch a movie and relax makes me so happy.
6. Goodbyes had to be said.... OUCH!

     Apart from that, school. I want to graduate soon, so I have to put all my effort to what's left of school. I've learned so much (not really so much, but the basics make me happy) in my Mandarin class so far. Actually, today we had an "out of nowhere" oral presentation. So we had 10 minutes to come up with a conversation in Mandarin and recite it in front of class. It was so stressful. I am not the kind of person who likes attention (as in people looking at me) from big groups. Usually I like to have some time ahead to prepare myself for the idea of standing up in front of a crowd and talking. Ironic since I took drama classes in high school. 

     My other political sciences classes have been pretty good so far. I am really enjoying them all, specially Political Relations between Puerto Rico and the United States of America. So interesting. ... I think that's all for now. Yeah. I just want ice cream because it feels like 97ºF outside. 

(:

Plunge

     Sorry guys! Since it is the last week of summer/first week of class, I've been really busy with cleaning the apartment and leaving everything ready for the semester. This post had been already written by Monday, but didn't have the time to publish it. You should also know that next week's post will also come late. Thank you for your patience and for reading!

My diary

April 28, 2006

     Classes are over at last! I am on my vacations. Now to thing what to do. Probably I'll be home al day long. There isn't much I can do about that.

...

     Initially I thought I would only have to wake up early once this week, and sleep off the rest. Sadly, things never go our way even when they do go our way. It's been a long long long week. But at least I am happy to know that I am done running around from office to office... for now. 

     Updates! I got to enroll on the Chinese (Mandarin) language course. Had to change my schedule a bit (a lot actually), but it was totally worth it. Once I had the language class, I went to talk to the Political Science Department Director and got a class that's really important for the completion of the degree. I got asked so many questions about why did I want a degree in Political Sciences instead of any other natural sciences degree. Apparently I did a good job answering because I got the class and the Director said "Valerie, we should sit down and talk later. I want to know about your experience as a Natural Sciences student and other things." 

     There was a time where I didn't care to be recognized by any of my professors. I was pretty much a ghost in all my classes. I've never been someone outgoing in large groups, more like a sit back and observe. However, if there is something I have learned is that observing without commenting takes you nowhere. It's not like I will become a avid participant in class, but I will do my best to contribute to class discussions so that professors can remember my name for future references. 

   Last week at work! I should be more worried than happy. But I've come to see this as an opportunity to grow. I did apply to other libraries and departments in campus, but they will probably be closer to my new faculty and I wont have to deal with ugly vibes anymore. Also, it made me look for internship opportunities in the island and mainland, primarily in non-profit organizations. Apparently there are a broad range of things to do with a BA in Political Sciences.

     My car is fixed! It runs smoothly now and the A/C works perfectly again. So happy to have her back (yes, my car is a girl). I just hope that it doesn't break down in the next 6-7 months. ... aaaaand I wrote this too fast. A/C stopped working again. This time it just doesn't cool. So now I have to go back to the mechanic before Thursday.

     First day of school! For a moment there I thought the summer would never end. It was a nice first day. Had my first Chinese (Mandarin) class. I'll rant about a few things that happen in Mandarin class later. Nothing I didn't learn before in my Au Pair classes, which is nice. Other two classes were just introductions and papers of what we would study and what we needed. The heat was terrible though. Had to take a nap after that. But all around, it was pretty nice.

Quick points:
1. THURSDAAAAAYYYY!!! Can't wait for it.
2. Happy to be able to have lunch at the vegetarians again. Yay for healthy food.
3. The new roommate (L) is here. Excitement!


Hope you have a good semester!



(:

Swig

My diary

June 29, 2006

(Back story: I was in Orlando, FL on vacations with my mom's boyfriend and his daughter. We were staying at a hotel. I met some cool children in the common area while I wrote on my diary. So here is what one of them wrote...)

     Your friend who's very sexy and fine that you met an hour ago and has a nice body and is very very very very funny.

Marquice

...

     I went back and started reading my first posts. I had so many expectations with the whole Au Pair program. It kind of hurts that I didn't get the chance to finish it as I wanted. Maybe I didn't plan it well enough. Still, I am happy to have been able to experience a bit of that program and will cherish the memories.

     After a few days without work, Tuesday started again. These will be the last two weeks I have left at work, so I will be at it every day of the week just to make the most money I can. It's nice because my supervisor is back and I am also working with K. Still, the head boss has been a bit... grouchy lately. Everyone knows so. My supervisor had to apologize in her behalf because she knew that the way I was fired was not the correct one. Sadly, I am just a student assistant so there is not much I can do about it. Just move on and try to find a new job at another library. On a positive note, my supervisor said she would be happy to provide a reference letter if needed, and she did. I am impressed with all the positive things she wrote about me. I can't thank her enough for that. 

     Car's A/C broke again. Well, my car in general. One of these days I will throw the car down a cliff and watch it burn while I smile in a creepy way... Also, I should go get an ID soon, just in case I get asked for one when going out for a drink. It's funny because legal drinking age in Puerto Rico is 18, I am 23 and I still get asked for my ID at places. Good genes right here.

     Wednesday was wine and beer pong day. Somehow Owlady and her boyfriend thought it was a good idea to fill up red cups with beer and wine, wine cups having as much as beer ones. K was my partner and let me tell you, he sucks at beer pong so much. We lost 3 out of 3 games, so you can imagine how wasted we ended up. But we had a lot of fun, all in the safety of our apartment. Now that I know that my table is great for beer pong, I guess I'll be doing more competitions like this during the semester!

     Do you like snakes? I love them. They are so majestic. Ever since I was a little girl I've wanted one as a pet, but my mom is scared of them so I never had it. But now that I live "by my own" there's an opportunity to have one. The thing is, Owlady said the other day "Hey! You guys like snakes? I want to buy one." ... and in that moment I was the happiest person alive. She said she will buy the whole thing about next week. Yay to pet snakes!!

     We had a storm on Saturday. It didn't rain as much as I would have liked, but it was nice to have some not so hot weather. There had been a drought the past few weeks, so a good rain was much needed in the island. What I find stupid is that, even though it rained, it wasn't much and, instead of keeping the rationalization of water in a smaller scale until the reservoir (or dam, not sure which to use) is at healthy levels, they just decided to set it back until there is another drought. Puerto Rico does it better.

     AUGUST IS HERE!!! Campus was full today. Suddenly I remembered why I loved studying so much... The semester starts next Monday and I am not happy with that (contradictory, I know). It means that we have to go back to studying and being a responsible adult. On the bright side, it also means meeting new people, having new adventures and just having something to do instead of being in bed all day.

Time for radom points:
1. Ten more days for Thursday!
2. Can't wait to put on my "I ♥ BJ" shirt (BJ stands for Beijing) for school.
3. I miss some of my college friends. Getting to see them is a plus.
4. Today has been the most productive/unproductive day ever. I felt like flipping tables everywhere.
 5. My last week of summer and I will spend it all at work.



(:

Advent

My diary

August 28, 2008

     My heart once more has been wounded, and greatly. I am unsure about how it happened, I just know it did. Everything was so unexpected that I didn't have time to react. There was a drastic change out of nowhere that I myself can't seem to understand. After so many words, so many promises, everything was taken away by the wind. To think that for the first time in my life I was going to let go of my dream of... just to be close to him. It's how I've said before: "Apparently I love in a non-existent world full of  unreal people". Everything around me is lies and deceits. My heart has been belittled.  Once he swore it would be different and, yes, maybe it was different. He was the only one who fooled me, leaving my heart to die. It's incredible how I already knew this was going to happen, but he was smooth with his words and achieved to wrap me blindly in his ways. I let myself go and drank from that poison dressed as a special potion. Without the need for it I became a beggar for his love, his words, forgetting how important I actually am. Loneliness jointly with lack of love took me to my own demise. My forces subsided and the feeling of slag entered my life, just because I once again opened the doors to a madness that has no cure: LOVE.

...

     Honestly, today is one of those days I really don't want to write. But I have a goal, and I need to stick to it even when I don't want to.

     This last week... Hmmm... It's funny because I actually don't remember much about this last week. I went to work, watched Netflix and today I went to the beach. It's been two weeks since last time I stayed a whole weekend at my mom's place. Probably I am just getting mentally ready to begin the semester and go more than a month without going back home. It's funny because it's not like my mom lives that far away from me. But when you live in an island with weather as the one we have here, a 45 minute car ride seems like hell.

     I love watching good movies, and even though I try to watch as many as possible, there are some classics I haven't watched. Following the advice of a friend who shares the same interest but in a more deep way, I watched three movies this weekend; Hitchcock's Psycho, A Clockwork Orange, and 12 Angry Man. Each one was great in their own way. I enjoyed 12 Angry Man a lot just because of how one rational person can change someone's thought. 

     So there you have a picture of one of my favorite places on Earth. It's a well known beach in Puerto Rico named Crashboat. During weekdays you can go early and get some peace, sun and clear water. It has a bridge where you can jump off and it's a well known spot for amateur divers. There are also some food stands around where you can get "pinchos" and "frituras", and I think I even saw a pizza place. After noon it gets really crowded and noisy so, once again, get there early.  

     After the beach, we decided to stop in the Guajataca Tunnel in Quebradillas since it was on the way back. It's a really beautiful tunnel besides the beach that was originally used for trains to transport sugar canes across the island. I have to be honest, the place is pretty filthy. But it is gorgeous nonetheless. We walked around and had fun with the view. Then it was time to head back home. Such a long exhausting drive, but totally worth it.

Lastly, some quick points:

1. I got a sprouter and the seeds are sprouting. Yes, I get all excited because of that.

2. Mmmmm... Burritos <3

3. Two more weeks of "summer"!!

4. Someone special (aka my boyfriend) will be visiting soon. So excited! 

5. We painted K's room. Yay for summer projects!

I hope you enjoy what's left of your summer!

(:

Swerve

I'll be staying over my mom's place, which means I don't have my diaries. So here an actual conversation I had once...

- "That green ugly evil stupid alien thing!"

- "You should sleepy bomb him and take his weapons and put him in a cage until he tells you something you want him to tell you."

- "I'm on my way to my secret doom lair for Zim. I will fix this."

- "Okie dokie!"

...

     This has been one tough week. I don't want to go all "pity me" on my readers, so I will just write about my thoughts on random things and conversations I've had with people.

     I am not the most experienced when it comes to dating and such. I've only been in one long-term relationshit (no typo there) and I am not good when it comes to actually going out on a date. The phrase that comes to mind when I think about dates is "You are weird..." I've heard that too much in the last year and a half. But one thing I know is that there are some things that you must stay away. For example, if you have hurt someone time after time, and after years that person is still there... that's not normal. You want someone in your life who loves you, but who also loves themselves. More so, if you feel the need to validate their love in front of others by saying "After all I've done to him, he is still there. He must really love me.", then I am almost certain that you are with that person for the right reasons. Even when in love, you can use logic. It may become cloudy, but it's still there. I won't stop saying this; people need to learn how to think, even when the heart is at stake. Maybe that's my problem, I think too much.

     Kind of got a bit excited today. I may be able to take a Intensive Basic Chinese course this semester. It's funny how I started learning Korean by myself because I wanted learn a third language, just to end up learning Chinese. I guess the few hours of class I took when being an Au Pair in Beijing made me change my mind. I would have to change my class schedule a bit, but I think it would be a perfect addition to my plans for the future.

     Talking about Korean... Can you recall that the original plan was to stay a week at the end of my Au Pair program in South Korea? Well, a friend of mine told me that next semester (Jan-May) will start on the 20th of January, which gives me a big window to travel. For a moment there I thought it would be the perfect occasion to visit South Korea, since the flight price goes down around that time. But then I remembered that I wanted to go there with someone special. Maybe it's because I've been wanting to go there for so long, I want to share the experience with someone else. Or maybe there's some kind of romantic inside me. Either way, I don't know what to do. Go alone, or wait and make it as special as I've always imagined?

     I am trying to think about a funny anecdote, but I am dry. I do have a story that made me laugh in some way. While I was cleaning the other day, my roommate's dog ran away. You should know, I am no dog lover. They always want too much attention. I made an effort to go get him (not much of an effort, just walked in front of the house while I yelled "WATSOOOON!!"). A few hours passed and I really thought he was a goner. But apparently everything you don't like does come back to you. He came back by his own. Yay...

     This is all I can write after one week of not leaving my apartment. Yes, I know this post was supposed to come out on Monday, but being lazy adds up and you just want to continue being lazy. I did a few projects here and there. My spinach seeds sprouted (Yaaay) and my place is as clean as it's ever been. But finishing around 4 seasons of random series in less than one week can't be that good for your mental stability, right?

Pd. You should check out my roommate's blog. She writes about her adventures, life and other fun stuff.

(:

Purloin

My dairy

August 14, 2005

My First Kiss

     Yesterday was a spectacular day. I went to the movies with M.A. I never believed that waiting would be so worth it. It was something special, that or those kisses took me to the clouds. I didn't care about anything, I gave it all I had because I love him with all my heart. The first, even though it was just a peck, it was super special. I had cold sweats and I was trembling because of the nervousness, but I was also fascinated. When he actually gave me the "real kiss", I didn't knew how to react, but at least what I did came from the heart. I've never felt this way and I am super happy.

...

This will be a long and not so happy one. But you are welcomed to laugh at my misfortunes. I already did it.

     As far as second chances go, experiences have not been the best. I honestly believe that people can change when they learn the consequences of their doings, but that doesn't mean I will literally give you a second chance to do what you did. As the saying goes... fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. Yes, I've seen people change and really take advantage of second chances. Sadly, it's not normal, at least not in my personal experience. In Contrite I talk about apologies. That's because a "friend" apologized to me that week for being pretty much a douche bag. The thing is, I honestly expected for him to go back to friend mode, so when he invited me for drinks with him and a mutual friend I expected nothing more than that. I was so wrong. Just as the night ended and I was saying my goodbyes, he told me "Bye? Why? Aren't we gonna...?" After a small argument, I walked away feeling like shit. I can't understand how some guys think that being nice and friendly after they were total assholes with us means we want them in our beds. Was the apology just that? A way to get to my bed...?

     I love my island. It's a beautiful place to spend some vacations. The beaches, sun, sky, culture and traditions are amazing, like no other place on Earth. As with every other country inn the world, we have criminality. Sadly, our rates are really high. I don't live in the safest area in San Juan, so I've always been really careful to where I park or walk through. This weekend I went back home (my mom's place) and bought some new things for my new place, mainly for my room, so I was excited to head back to my apartment. Being all impatient and stuff like I always am, I decided to go back home a day earlier. I decided to stop first at a friend's house to have a drink and talk for a bit with them, since it was on the way. Had a few extra drinks, so I told K to drive home. It was almost midnight when we got to San Juan, and we were starving, so we stopped at McDonald (it was the only thing opened that late). It took us less than 30 minutes to order, eat and head to the car...

     All I remember was K saying "my laptop..." and getting inside the car, while I asked "what happened to your laptop?", ignoring the fact that I haven't even unlocked the car. Still confused, I walk around to the passengers side just to find glass all over the floor. Someone had broken into my car and had taken K's backpack. I called my mom (yes, I called her instead of calling the police. You will learn my reasons soon enough). While waiting for the police to get there, it hit me. My bag was also in the car. I looked for it and, as I feared, it was missing. My wallet and all personal documents with it. Luckily, my mom has contacts in one of the Police Departments, so agents were there in less than 10 minutes (now you understand). Something that would usually be treated with a simple taking of personal information ended up being a complete investigation. I had the CID taking fingerprints in my car and everything. Even during this misfortunes I could not help but imagining myself in a tv show or movie. Everything took about an hour and a half. Not fun.

     I am not sad or angry about the fact that they took things, but the fact that out of the 3 laptops that were in the car, they had to take K's, not mine. I can't help but to feel guilty. It was my car they broke into, they should've taken my stuff, not his (not like they would know). His new T-Rex shirt was inside that backpack, and he had been wanting that shirt so long just to get it stolen before he could use it. It's pretty unfair, and I hate myself for it. Adding to that, now I have to do eternal paperwork to get my drivers license, student ID, credit cards, insurance card and other important documents inside. I also have to obviously waste money on fixing the car's window. Then I remember the things that had some emotional value inside. A note my boyfriend wrote to me when we were in Chicago, a photo of me and my middle-school friends, another with my high-school friends, currency from places I've visited with special people... and I just get more upset.

 Now to the positive things. I will list them to make the post shorter:

1. My room is going to look so pretty once I am done with it!

2. I am planning a trip to Vieques/Culebra before the month ends. Never been there and that makes me feel like a terrible Puerto Rican.

3. This week I am supposed to receive something my boyfriend sent me. Can't wait for that! ... (10 minutes later) I just got it... incomplete. The package was open and something was missing. What a great week!

4. I plan on start my own home garden with vegetables and stuff. Yay to healthy eating!

5. Mom got me pizza for dinner. Nothing makes a day better than pizza (Well... ice cream is way better. But I won't say no to pizza.)

That's about it for this past week. I hope somehow I put a smile on someone's face.

Q: So tell me, do you remember your first kiss?

:)

Adipose

My diary

July 27, 2007

     Every girl dreams of being a princess and someday find Prince Charming, and so nice to dream. Sadly, we all wake up and realize that reality is not like that, it's nothing close to what we dream of.

     So many times we believe to have found Prince Charming, all to just realise it's just a jester in disguise. At first they make us see everything as beautiful, they treat you like a princess, they please your every desire, all with a smile in their faces. They show a kind, caring, honest, respectful, understanding face. They make themselves look like the perfect guy. Only time lets you see who is really that person who's behind the mask. Everything that once they showed you crumbles to the ground, little by little. It becomes painful living. You ask yourself when did all this started to happen, always trying to look for the one who's to blame, not knowing that indirectly the fault is ours. Why? you may ask. Many would say "It was he's fault because he never showed who he really was". I think the mistake is ours for letting our self  get blinded by love and not see past the mask.

...

     What can I say? This week I have done nothing. At least nothing worth writing long and kind-of-interesting blog about.

     I said I would go to the beach with some friends last Tuesday on my previous post. Well that didn't happen. My job schedule changed and suddenly from 10 hours I was supposed to work, I worked 20 (that you knew). Which means I worked all Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday evening. Don't take this as a me complaining. On the contrary, I was really happy to have those extra hours.

     I did get to do the other two things I wanted. Fixed my car's A/C (FINALLY!!!). Now I can happily go to my favorite beach without dying of dehydration and other heat related stuff in the process. I also went to the Comic book store. Found two issues of the comic book I was looking for (it's not for me). Going to the Comic book store is always a funny experience. Everyone goes silent when I go in. Apparently not many girls go there. On the bright side, I always get a good service. What was really amazing is that one of my elementary school classmates worked there and recognized me. It took me a bit longer to know who he was, but that's normal in me. We talked for a few minutes, just trying to catch up. But I was on a schedule and still had not paid, so I said goodbye and went on with my business.

     Let's talk about the 4th of July. It's a really American Holiday, and Puerto Rico belongs to the USA, so we are expected to celebrate it, right? We do and we don't. We have our own way to celebrate it. It doesn't involve fireworks or the American flag themed everything. Hell, I am sure people here don't even know the history behind the 4th of July. So what do we do? We go to the beach. Every single beach we have gets full to capacity. Everyone will be there with their family, the coolers full of Medalla (Puerto Rican beer), BBQ grill and just whatever food you can think of. Some people camp in the beach for the weekend, others get there as early as 6am just to get a good spot, and will stay there until sunset. Don't get me wrong, it's not that we don't care about the 4th of July, we just don't care about any Holiday at all. We see it as a free day to go to the beach. I just am happy I didn't have to go through all of that.

     I started running again this weekend. Did a 2.2 mile run around the development where my mom lives, 2 days in a row. People usually ask me why I run and try to eat healthy, since I am skinny. There are millions of answers to that question, all that have to do with having a healthy life style. Actually, what not many people know is that I have cholesterol problems. I am almost 100% sure that they are hereditary. Even before I knew I had high cholesterol, I always tried to eat healthy and exercise from time to time. It's kind of ironic how my mom is overweight (based on healthy standards), eats cookies with butter for midnight snacks and has a healthy heart. But let's look at the positive side, I wont ever let myself get overweight because I have no plans to die anytime soon.

Looks like I did have something to go on this week.

Ps. Did you get the post name reference?

:)

Boil

My Diary (translated from Spanish)
April 28, 2006

     Today can't really be worse. I've been yearning to go to my class' disco party, and no, because of my older brother I won't be able to go. I can't do anything, just think and imagine how would it be like to be there.
     I want to believe this is a nightmare. I can't believe what my mom just did. He let my brother go to the his girlfriend's activity, and didn't even say a word to me. I am sure this is just a bad nightmare and that I will wake up anytime now. Please, wake me up because I can't handle this anymore.

...

As a comment on my dairy: I started reading the first one I ever wrote. I noticed two important things, (1) I wasn't a happy teenager and (2) I talked boys... A LOT. You'll have your chance too see it as I transcribe more of it during my next blogs.

     Yes. It's incredibly hot in Puerto Rico. The weather is killing me. I know I've said "I am a tropical bird. I need heat!", but this is something else. It's like hell has descended upon us. To top it up, my car has no A/C. The day I got back from Beijing, it broke. So even if beach is always and option (and I hate the beach), I still have to drive around 15-20 minutes in the terrible heat to get there, and then drive back home. So it ends up being a worthless effort. September needs to get here a bit... NOPE. I would still choose the heat than going back to class and work. Forget it. Long live the heat!

     As every other person who enjoys drinking, I have my favorite bar where even the bartenders know me. My friends and I usually go there at least once a week to have a beer... or four. Usually Thursday nights are a big deal in the Avenue next to where I live, where the bar is located. Last Thursday one of my friends and I decided to go get one beer. As always, we had more than one beer. Something you should know is that I am a bad dancer. People seem to think that because I come from a Caribbean island I know how to dance. Bad news: I don't. The thing is that night at the bar they had some awesome (by awesome I mean really bad but danceable) music on (G-Dragon, Psy, Beyonce, Drake, Miley, Gaga, Pharrell, salsa and merengue classics) so, after a few beers, my friend and I started dancing. We danced for hours, and noticed there was this cute guy who had been standing in a corner alone all night long. Usually this would be totally creepy and a red flag, but for two drunk people it was just curious. My friend dared me to talk to him, if I did he would buy me a beer and who can say no to that?! (In a friendly matter of course) I went over and it turns out that he was a new student in the university and knew no one so far. So I introduced him to my friend and we had a great time after that. We're close now (this is a saying and not actually a fact). We met some other people that night, but haven't stayed in contact that much.

     Last Monday night was the "Noche de San Juan". A traditional PAGAN (they give a lot of emphasis on this word in the media here) celebration here in Puerto Rico that takes place annually on the night of June 23rd. The idea of this celebration is to go to the beach and throw yourself backwards 12 (everyone says a different number, don't know why) times in the water to clean yourself of bad luck and such. Beaches get really crowded so I decided to just invite some really close friends over to the pool at my mom's. Got some pizza, wine, vodka and sangría; played charades and lost in the most disgraceful way. I like simple gatherings like that. We had an amazing time.

     Apart from those 2 nights, I haven't done much. Just sleep, eat and other Deandra things. Wait... I did start watching House of Cards. Amazing series.

     I almost forgot! I am planning my next trip. I don't have a physical exact bucket list, I usually add things along the way. But there's this one thing I've always wanted to do, and today I found out it's not that expensive or hard to accomplish. It's really simple. I just want to see the Milky Way from Death Valley, CA. Experience what the ancient astronomers could see every night in the sky. Death Valley is just a 2 hour drive from Las Vegas, so I get to get something off my bucket list and have a nice time in a big city too. I am planning to do it on November, since the website of Death Valley says the place is almost empty by that date. Crossing my fingers!

(: