Cogitate

I am guessing there will be two posts this week. This was an old post I wrote the week of November 17th. Now that I think about it, it's been quite long since last time I wrote. Forgive me. I'll talk more about it on the next post. 

...

New post Monday is finally here! Even though I started writing this on time, I am 100% sure that it won't be officially published until Tuesday or Wednesday. Let me apologise in advance. We have no internet in the apartment.

I got invited out by a friend on Friday 14th. Because of school, it had been some time since last I went out. I was all in for it, but half hour before I backed out. The thing is people can't give me the chance to say no. If I can, I will always go for no because it's just shorter than yes. I feel like an old person (and I am just 23!) from time to time. The whole let's go party all night long thing has lost it's appeal to me. Just give me a bottle of wine, close friends or a good movie and I am happy. No need to go out spend time with "kids" that YOLO their life. That's another thing. Since drinking age in PR is 18 and they don't ask for ID all the time, clubs are full of teenagers wanting to be adults. 

Done hating on things. 

Being a unemployed university student is not easy at all. Even with parents providing help here and there, one ends up living on such a tight budget that getting a beer means not having dinner one night. It also means having to live with roommates. Living with a roommate is no easy thing, much less having to live with three. Different people, upbringing, lifestyles, majors and different things in general. You are just bound to have friction in the apartment. Because I am more of a loner, I tend to ignore my roommates, which leads them to think that I have something against them making them uncomfortable. I get not everyone understands how introverts act. All this misunderstanding led to some awkwardness in the apartment. Luckily, I know my roommates real well. I decided to go get a litre of bubbly sangría, sit down and talk with them. It was my peace treaty and I am glad I did. The evenings of weirdness are done and we are back to a peaceful state.

I will add some quick points while I remember more stories:

• I took a test with 85 choose the best answer. At the end of it I had the worst headache ever. But I got an A- on it. Yay..?!
• I feel betrayed. K went to watch Mockingjay without me. That breaks years of tradition. You don't do that to your best friend.
• Made sesame chicken. It was good, not great. Next time I will get it right and invite you over.
• Got some new black jeans. Shopping brings happiness (damn you capitalism!).
• I've been a ball of anger wrapped in rage. It's the stress. 
• I may get my car back this week. Can't wait to have my girl back with me.
• I had a moment with a guy on a bicycle the other day. What do I mean by a moment? He was riding, I was walking, we looked at each other, then looked away just to look back at each other and smile. Good stuff.
• Not having to work gives me time to study and have a good sleep. 
• Can't wait for classes to be done so I can start going out for a run again.
• Gave a oral report. Sucked at it. I don't expect more than a C.
• I've been eating so much oatmeal. Happiness.
• Yes. Nothing makes me happier than food. Even my boyfriend knows that.

What's up with the whole hook-up culture that there is in the island (Puerto Rico). I get it when you are 18 through 21. Maybe even 22 just because of Taylor Swift. But after that it just gets boring and old... unless you are travelling around the world, which probably you are not. I am a huge advocate for the whole owning your body and what you do with it, unless you hurt other people. See, we approach the hook-ups in a wrong way. I know most times you can't be bold and go for it, but you shouldn't make someone like you just so you can have fun and then disappear. If you have the courage to get it on with someone, you should have the same courage to break it off in a healthy way (not through text). 

Kismet

My Diary
July 5, 2011

     It was hard to begin with, but with A LOT of communication everything has been improving. With time you learn the art of patience, the frustration and the continuos effort it takes to live and be happy.

     ... And... I need to go to the bathroom. I know that these few pages leave you with the desire to know more, but it will be until next time. Break a leg!

...

     Fall is here! You see that red leaf? It's actually the first time I see one. I wanted to take it home with me. It seemed like a bad idea at the moment. Now I want to go back and get it. Sadness.

     Two weeks (and a bit more)... You could say right now I am procrastinating, but I would like to see as if by writing this blog I am getting ready to do whatever school work I have to do. Plus, I am waiting for the tea to cool down a bit. 

     These past few weeks have been kind of unlucky for me. Have you heard of the chikungunya? Well I got sick with that just 2 days before something special and important happened. It was a hard decision I had to make that day. I still got to do what I wanted (more like needed) to do. But the process was a bit painful. I couldn't stay out of bed or do anything physical for a prolonged time because of the pain. But in the end, it was worth it.

     What was not worth it was the amount of class I lost. Having to stay inside for a whole week meant not going to school, which meant falling behind in class. I already took 2 tests, and I am pretty sure I have 2 more waiting for me. Add to that the whole alimony thing. When I think I am going to go back to school, no. I have to meet up with my lawyer, go to court, meet up with the lawyer again and repeat. Tomorrow will be my actual complete first day of class and I am honestly just expecting the worse. I get exhausted with half days in school right now, so I am guessing I will be dying by the end of the day.

     Stuff (I like using the word stuff) doesn't end there. Quick piece of information: my lawyer is back at my mom's town, so I usually just stay home each time we have to meet up. The drive from where I live to where she lives is a bit exhausting. The thing is, my brother and mother got the influenza B. In the event of contagion and, because I still got the chikungunya in my system, it would be mortal. So I got kicked out of my mom's house (for my own good). At this rate soon you'll see in the news "FIRST CASE OF EBOLA IN PUERTO RICO: A 23 year old student was found to be...". After so many years of good luck and karma something bad had to happen, right? So in the end I can't complain. 

Now to random stories and points:

• Received a text message this morning from an old "friend". It read "Sup. I wanna see you. Typo, I mean taste." Does that ever work for guys? I am guessing it has to in some way. If not, why do they even use it? I once tried it and got rejected... BADLY. Tried it again today, got rejected again. Third time is the charm? My ego can't take another rejection.
• People still don't believe me when I tell them I am in a relationship, even though I posted a picture of him, tagged him and added a cheesy message to it. Am I not relationship material? Is it that people think I am too selfish or something like that? Why, people? WHY?!
• I am asking myself too many questions lately. It's a phase, just ignore it.
• Can I get a flight out of here? Oh wait... I am still jobless.
• I will be doing some volunteer work in the Urban Culture Fair by the end of the month. I feel like I need more volunteer work in my life. Maybe that will tilt karma back into place.
• My Chinese has improved a lot since classes started. I can ask your name now. *wink wink*
• Wine hangovers are the worst hangovers in life. If you ever get so drunk with wine that you end up hugging the toilet... I just feel bad for you.
• I haven't been to the movies in so long it hurts. I can't wait to get some extra money on the side to waste on the movie theatre. (I should save it up, but sometimes my priorities suck.)
• I really don't want to do any school work.

Tea time is over! I guess it's time to go back to work...

(:

Plunge

     Sorry guys! Since it is the last week of summer/first week of class, I've been really busy with cleaning the apartment and leaving everything ready for the semester. This post had been already written by Monday, but didn't have the time to publish it. You should also know that next week's post will also come late. Thank you for your patience and for reading!

My diary

April 28, 2006

     Classes are over at last! I am on my vacations. Now to thing what to do. Probably I'll be home al day long. There isn't much I can do about that.

...

     Initially I thought I would only have to wake up early once this week, and sleep off the rest. Sadly, things never go our way even when they do go our way. It's been a long long long week. But at least I am happy to know that I am done running around from office to office... for now. 

     Updates! I got to enroll on the Chinese (Mandarin) language course. Had to change my schedule a bit (a lot actually), but it was totally worth it. Once I had the language class, I went to talk to the Political Science Department Director and got a class that's really important for the completion of the degree. I got asked so many questions about why did I want a degree in Political Sciences instead of any other natural sciences degree. Apparently I did a good job answering because I got the class and the Director said "Valerie, we should sit down and talk later. I want to know about your experience as a Natural Sciences student and other things." 

     There was a time where I didn't care to be recognized by any of my professors. I was pretty much a ghost in all my classes. I've never been someone outgoing in large groups, more like a sit back and observe. However, if there is something I have learned is that observing without commenting takes you nowhere. It's not like I will become a avid participant in class, but I will do my best to contribute to class discussions so that professors can remember my name for future references. 

   Last week at work! I should be more worried than happy. But I've come to see this as an opportunity to grow. I did apply to other libraries and departments in campus, but they will probably be closer to my new faculty and I wont have to deal with ugly vibes anymore. Also, it made me look for internship opportunities in the island and mainland, primarily in non-profit organizations. Apparently there are a broad range of things to do with a BA in Political Sciences.

     My car is fixed! It runs smoothly now and the A/C works perfectly again. So happy to have her back (yes, my car is a girl). I just hope that it doesn't break down in the next 6-7 months. ... aaaaand I wrote this too fast. A/C stopped working again. This time it just doesn't cool. So now I have to go back to the mechanic before Thursday.

     First day of school! For a moment there I thought the summer would never end. It was a nice first day. Had my first Chinese (Mandarin) class. I'll rant about a few things that happen in Mandarin class later. Nothing I didn't learn before in my Au Pair classes, which is nice. Other two classes were just introductions and papers of what we would study and what we needed. The heat was terrible though. Had to take a nap after that. But all around, it was pretty nice.

Quick points:
1. THURSDAAAAAYYYY!!! Can't wait for it.
2. Happy to be able to have lunch at the vegetarians again. Yay for healthy food.
3. The new roommate (L) is here. Excitement!


Hope you have a good semester!



(:

Purloin

My dairy

August 14, 2005

My First Kiss

     Yesterday was a spectacular day. I went to the movies with M.A. I never believed that waiting would be so worth it. It was something special, that or those kisses took me to the clouds. I didn't care about anything, I gave it all I had because I love him with all my heart. The first, even though it was just a peck, it was super special. I had cold sweats and I was trembling because of the nervousness, but I was also fascinated. When he actually gave me the "real kiss", I didn't knew how to react, but at least what I did came from the heart. I've never felt this way and I am super happy.

...

This will be a long and not so happy one. But you are welcomed to laugh at my misfortunes. I already did it.

     As far as second chances go, experiences have not been the best. I honestly believe that people can change when they learn the consequences of their doings, but that doesn't mean I will literally give you a second chance to do what you did. As the saying goes... fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. Yes, I've seen people change and really take advantage of second chances. Sadly, it's not normal, at least not in my personal experience. In Contrite I talk about apologies. That's because a "friend" apologized to me that week for being pretty much a douche bag. The thing is, I honestly expected for him to go back to friend mode, so when he invited me for drinks with him and a mutual friend I expected nothing more than that. I was so wrong. Just as the night ended and I was saying my goodbyes, he told me "Bye? Why? Aren't we gonna...?" After a small argument, I walked away feeling like shit. I can't understand how some guys think that being nice and friendly after they were total assholes with us means we want them in our beds. Was the apology just that? A way to get to my bed...?

     I love my island. It's a beautiful place to spend some vacations. The beaches, sun, sky, culture and traditions are amazing, like no other place on Earth. As with every other country inn the world, we have criminality. Sadly, our rates are really high. I don't live in the safest area in San Juan, so I've always been really careful to where I park or walk through. This weekend I went back home (my mom's place) and bought some new things for my new place, mainly for my room, so I was excited to head back to my apartment. Being all impatient and stuff like I always am, I decided to go back home a day earlier. I decided to stop first at a friend's house to have a drink and talk for a bit with them, since it was on the way. Had a few extra drinks, so I told K to drive home. It was almost midnight when we got to San Juan, and we were starving, so we stopped at McDonald (it was the only thing opened that late). It took us less than 30 minutes to order, eat and head to the car...

     All I remember was K saying "my laptop..." and getting inside the car, while I asked "what happened to your laptop?", ignoring the fact that I haven't even unlocked the car. Still confused, I walk around to the passengers side just to find glass all over the floor. Someone had broken into my car and had taken K's backpack. I called my mom (yes, I called her instead of calling the police. You will learn my reasons soon enough). While waiting for the police to get there, it hit me. My bag was also in the car. I looked for it and, as I feared, it was missing. My wallet and all personal documents with it. Luckily, my mom has contacts in one of the Police Departments, so agents were there in less than 10 minutes (now you understand). Something that would usually be treated with a simple taking of personal information ended up being a complete investigation. I had the CID taking fingerprints in my car and everything. Even during this misfortunes I could not help but imagining myself in a tv show or movie. Everything took about an hour and a half. Not fun.

     I am not sad or angry about the fact that they took things, but the fact that out of the 3 laptops that were in the car, they had to take K's, not mine. I can't help but to feel guilty. It was my car they broke into, they should've taken my stuff, not his (not like they would know). His new T-Rex shirt was inside that backpack, and he had been wanting that shirt so long just to get it stolen before he could use it. It's pretty unfair, and I hate myself for it. Adding to that, now I have to do eternal paperwork to get my drivers license, student ID, credit cards, insurance card and other important documents inside. I also have to obviously waste money on fixing the car's window. Then I remember the things that had some emotional value inside. A note my boyfriend wrote to me when we were in Chicago, a photo of me and my middle-school friends, another with my high-school friends, currency from places I've visited with special people... and I just get more upset.

 Now to the positive things. I will list them to make the post shorter:

1. My room is going to look so pretty once I am done with it!

2. I am planning a trip to Vieques/Culebra before the month ends. Never been there and that makes me feel like a terrible Puerto Rican.

3. This week I am supposed to receive something my boyfriend sent me. Can't wait for that! ... (10 minutes later) I just got it... incomplete. The package was open and something was missing. What a great week!

4. I plan on start my own home garden with vegetables and stuff. Yay to healthy eating!

5. Mom got me pizza for dinner. Nothing makes a day better than pizza (Well... ice cream is way better. But I won't say no to pizza.)

That's about it for this past week. I hope somehow I put a smile on someone's face.

Q: So tell me, do you remember your first kiss?

:)

Sunder

"Are you happy? Because that's all that matters." 

 ...

So jet lagged...

This post will take some time to finish. Headaches and other aches are kicking in. I am not happy with this jet lag.

Beijing

     Complications all over the Au Pair program. What the hell, complications since this whole trip started. I should've seen it coming. But I went for it anyways. Never seen myself as a quitter. I will not go into big details about why I am no longer doing the program. It's something a bit personal. But rest assured it wasn't because I couldn't handle the pressure. On the contrary, those last few days things seem to be really looking brighter. Had friends, the family wasn't pushing me around so much, I was pretty much getting used to everything there. But then misunderstandings here, problems there and everything pilled up, making me take the hard decision to head back home. It was not easy. I spent a few nights thinking it through. But in the end it was the wisest thing to do. I did make a fast stop before getting home.

     Saying goodbye to the girls was not easy. The last two days the girls asked me why did I had to leave and if I was coming back after that. They kept hugging me each minute and saying "I live you Valerie" or "I love you my baby". Yes, they had this weird thing where they kept saying I was their baby. I just went with it. The night before the oldest one started crying saying she didn't want me to leave. I've just been there for two and a half week and they were reacting this way. I was impressed.

     The morning of the day I left was a bit more relaxed. Woke up to help with the girls (yes, I decided to work until the last minute), got them ready for school and said goodbye. They both hugged me tight. The oldest started crying again and the host mother took some pictures of the oldest not wanting to let me go (which was a bit too much for my liking). I wont lie here, a tear or two may have came out. Those girls had been just a bundle of love when they were with me, their witticism was so funny. I came to grow affectionate towards them. But there wasn't much I could do, and the goodbyes had to be said.

Seattle & Portland

     Since I was leaving early, I missed him and Seattle was on the way home, we kind of decided I would stop there for a few days. There were no exact plans for the days I would be there, but things turned out better than if there was an actual plan. First night in the USA, and all I could think about was pizza. And so pizza it was. I didn't know how much I missed and loved pizza until then. I had a moment with that pizza that can't compare to any other moment with any other person in the world. So powerful. Food...

     Did a date on Portland. His idea, not mine, which was kind of exciting since in a old post I wrote I wanted to make a date out of a concert without him knowing it and... you understand. Let's just keep going with the story... While I was tempted to say no, he did say yes to me in Chicago, so why couldn't I do the same? This time it was dinner and movies. Dinner was perfect. We had some street cart burritos (Portland is really famous for it's street food. And now I can see why.) and then saw Edge of Tomorrow. It's nice to have someone to share your love for time-travel (sci-fi) movies and things. The movie is really good. Simple, funny, full of action and eye catching. I was fangirling inside.

    Actually... this trip was pretty much a big canned cheese. It was just us two having fun and being total goofballs around Portland, and I don't think you are really interested in that. Lets just say that the stop in Seattle/Portland created some amazing memories and marks a new stage in my life. And this is kind of more than you need/want to know. So, NEXT!

Puerto Rico (home)

     Slept almost 24 hours straight once I got home. The whole Chicago-Beijing-Seattle trip threw my body clock away. I am happy though. I did more than I could have asked for. Even if I couldn't go to South Korea like I wanted, I can't say I had a bad time. For me this past month counts as the whole summer. Even if I don't do much here in Puerto Rico for whatever is left of summer, I will say I had the best summer vacations ever.

     People all over have been impressed that I am back. The common comment is "Hey! Weren't you in another country or something?". I wish I could just reply "well, you see me here now. That pretty much means I am back. Just saying...", but the nicer version of me comes out and I usually say "Yes. I just came back." Then the questions of what happened start. I am lucky to have amazing friends who just help change the subject since they know that's something I don't want to think about. But they keep asking so eventually I've had to say "let's just not talk about that okay?". People...

      What else...? Oh! Once again I feel lucky. I got my old job at the library back. So at least I can make some money while I let my summer pass by. I am seriously considering getting another part time job for the summer. Something simple. Just want to make a bit of extra money and do something with all this free time I have. I'll probably see if I can find something when I go to the mall today.

...

      On side note, I really don't know what to do with the blog now that I am no longer an Au Pair. Should I just continue to use it as a kind of place to let my thoughts about those daily things come out or just let it be until my next adventure? Let me know what you think!

(:

Settling

"Did you sleep well last night? Was it hot?" - HM

"Yes...?" *thinks* Am I supposed to not turn the ac on? Because I do. Every night since they fixed it. There's no way I will sleep with this heat...

...

This post is long overdue, I know.

     What can I say? These past two weeks have not been easy on me. Lots of things have happened, but mainly it's been work. Day after day. Sometimes from 7am to 10pm (on the weekends mainly). The contract says we are supposed to work just 25 hours a week, but none of us do. We all work up to 40 hours. Specially during Holidays or whenever the kids make up some illness to stay at home.

     I want to make something clear, working as an Au Pair in China is no easy job. No one speaks your language except for the kids, they make you work a "flexible" schedule (pretty much means when they need you) instead of the 25hrs by contract, they don't pay your pocket money until the end of the month, you only get one day off during the weekdays and other down points. But I can't say the family has been bad to me. On the contrary, the aunt feeds me all day, she tries to communicate with me, the girls adore me and are sweethearts (as long as the parents are not here), the parents are really nice to me and no one oversteps their boundaries. But that's my case. Some people are not so lucky.

     I started writing some daily things, so I will post here what I had so far. Understand it's not that much since I have to take care of the kids, take Mandarin classes and then study for them. So here's what I got...

Tuesday, May 20

            The girls got sick today, so the host parents decided they should stay at home and rest. This pretty much meant that I had to take care of them all day long. Halfway through the day I was exhausted and the girls didn’t want to play with me anymore. I was out of games and energy. At least the parents were considerate. They got back from work, we all had dinner and then they took the girls away. It was 8pm and I was free. Any normal person would just go to bed. But the girl’s cousin invited me to play basketball, and so I did. Don’t think I am any good at it. It was just nice to finally get out of the house. After we played a bit and I watched him play with others, we went to a coffee place near the house. I was happy to discover it was also a waffle house and besides it there was a hamburger place. Now I will have a place to calm my American cravings near.

Wednesday, May 21

            The host mother told me we would go downtown to the Au Pair agency office today. It was a 45 minute drive with that awkward silence you get when you don’t know the person in the car with you that much. We got there and there was someone waiting for me. Went to the office, met another Au Pair, walked around the place, found a movie theater (yay!), headed back to the office. There I talked with the person in charge of the company. They were genuinely worried about everything that happened these past few days. They asked be about everything. From the food, to the house, the family, the place and how I was feeling. They also gave me a phone with a card to make calls. I am excited to have my own Chinese Beijing phone number. About 12:30 I headed back to the house, but didn’t get here until 17:00. Yes, I got lost in Beijing. The metro is no problem for me. It’s just the same as in Shanghai. But the bus… wow. That’s a whole other thing. They told me “get in 31 bus line” but never told me where the bus stop was. So I walked around, tried to ask, a few people helped get me lost, got in a bus that led nowhere (3 stations north to be exact), had to take the metro again. I gave up, asked a taxi and to my surprise… he didn’t know either. So there I was in the middle of I-don’t-know-where without any internet. Decided to walk until I found a mall. I was hungry and broke, so McDonalds sounded perfect. I hate fast foods, but this was as good as it got there. No one can judge me because of that. After, found a Starbucks, but the internet asked me for some things that I didn’t understand, since it was in Chinese. A nice German soul was sitting besides me and was kind enough to explain when I asked for help. I was so happy to have a Chinese phone number at that moment, because the Wi-Fi required a phone number. I messaged (in WeChat) the girl’s cousin (from now on referred as… Mike) and he sent me the location of his workplace so I could get there and then he would explain. It turns out I was “near” the place. Just a 30min walk. I decided to wait for him to get out of work, got a free coke and headed back home. Girls came back late, so I just had to play with her for 3 hours and then they went to bed.

Friday, May 24

            I woke up with a stomachache, but at the moment I thought it was just the anxiety of the day about to come. Also, I was having a nice dream (I don’t remember what it as about right now), so the alarm made my heart jump. I had my first actual Mandarin class.

(From here on I will write what I remember of this day) Class was hard and fun at the same time. Met another Au Pair, a Swedish girl who I will refer to L from now on. It was funny because the teacher said "Initials and Finitials" instead of finals. But we understood, so we just went on with it. Classes are 3 hours long with a small 15 minute break in the middle. I think the hardest part is having to actually speak in Mandarin. This language is so complicated.

Now I will start jumping around to random memories I have about my stay here.

     My first day off in Beijing (Tuesday, May 27) was actually fun. I was used to using the subway by then. It takes around 2 hours to get from the house to downtown. I went there in the morning, took some language classes to be in the same place as L and then walked around a bit. I knew there was a movie theatre near the office in some big mall. The problem was finding the mall in those streets. I did eventually find it, and just in time to watch X-Men: Days of Future Past. Good movie, nothing too memorable though; so expected. So then I walked my way to the subway, but instead of heading home I decided to stop and have a nice glass of wine at a Irish Pub that I found. Happy hour was on, so I managed to have a big glass for just 32 RMB. I stayed there for about 2 hours. No point in getting home early. The girls would just attack me and won't let me go. I got home around 9pm that night. The girls tried to play with me, but I just went directly to bed. It was nice. 

     I've met other Au Pairs too (not just L). A girl from Finland, a boy from the UK and another girl from... I don't remember. They are all super nice and friendly. I love the fact the we connect so fast over our host kid's stories. We all have something funny or some complain to share with others. Also, it's nice to compare your work, that way you know what's actually normal and what's not. The guy from the UK is really... let's go with funny. He wasn't here for a complete week before he left. Said he was expecting a really rich family that gave him everything, like the first one he had, but it wasn't like that so he decided to go back to his girlfriend. The other girl just told us "It's normal that he's leaving. Everyone leaves the first week. I will not lie to you." That was a nice day. I hate beer, but I even had a beer with them. 

Now that I remember I also had a beer with the HD and Mike.

      Yesterday we went to Summer Palace. Once again I can confirm that this is my favourite place in the world (so far). It's so amazing and so peaceful even with the hundreds of people walking around. From the actual Palace to the lake, it's just perfection. One of the girls started getting a fever while we were there, but the parents practically ignored it and went on with the scheduled boat ride. Then the host mom got a stomachache, so we had to leave faster. You know, stomachaches, way worse than any fever in the world.

     Today is Dragon Boat Festival (Holiday), which pretty much means that the whole family is free. I was expecting a lot of extra work, but to my surprise, I haven't worked that much. In the morning I helped the girls get ready for breakfast, played with them and helped with homework. That took me until noon. After that it's been easy sailing. The girls have been just having simple fun with the family and I even took a nap! I am sure I'll get some more work in the night, but for now I will enjoy this small break of air I get. (I didn't actually get more work. Just like an hour of English time with the smallest girl. She's the easiest to deal with once I've got her attention.)

     I've learned a lot in my Mandarin classes. It's nice that the class is just L and me. That way we have a personalised teacher that helps us in every step of the way. Sometimes it takes us just 1 hour to get the pronunciation right (z,s,c,q and r are the hardest), but she is just so patient wit us. She also taught me how to say "I want a beer" in Mandarin. That will be very helpful. I practice my Mandarin back home with the girls and Mike all the time. They've helped me a lot along the way. I am  so happy to learn a 3rd language.

     A great example of unlucky Au Pairs is my friend L. She got kicked out of her house today. Like "you need to go now. We don't want you here." kind of kicked out. She'll have to sleep in a hotel tonight and then see what she will do. When she asked the company what happened they just said "I have heard so many stories of you, very disappointed. You were rough to the family. No one like you. Including all other people that met you." which came out of nowhere because the other day she told me that the HM told her how much everyone liked her. See, not all of us have good stories to tell. I am glad to be able to say I like my host family so far, and I will miss the girls when I am gone.

     There goes the older girl screaming to her mom again. As I told you, they are a sweetheart when their parents are not here. Once the parents get home, they start screaming and crying to get what they want. They've maybe spoiled them just a little... 

And there goes the mom to scream at the girl in the room. Screaming does nothing if all you do is that, scream. They take no action whatsoever to correct the behaviour. Mike told me the older girl curses at her mom when they are fighting and that she just doesn't do anything. I can't deal with that, so I usually just go away when the fights start. 

I can smell food... bye!

Horologe

"In truth, you wont notice the difference so much. When you see us online on Facebook, it makes it feel less far away than it seems. You will only feel the distance in time (zones) and you get used too. We made our polygamous relationship work last semester, one summer is nothing." - G

...

      I am actually in my Geography class writing this. Don't have much time to do the blog out of class. Plus, I have no wifi at my new place. And since I am going away soon, I don't care much about it.

     I'm leaving on Saturday. First stop will be Chicago. I'll be staying 5-ish days there. Neon Trees Concert, Beercades, The Amazing Spiderman on IMAX and Sears Tower (staying away from the sky-deck for sure) will be some of the activities I'll do while I wait for the Chinese Visa to process. I just remembered that I need to cancel my couchsurfing request. I'll just do it later. The host seemed so cool and eager to take me around. Hoping I get to hang out with him sometime while there.

     The fact that I am not heading directly for Beijing has kept me from being dramatic about my leave. Three months seem so long and short at the same time. Those three months are without taking in consideration the pre and post stops. No time seems enough to spend with my family and friends. Wish I could just be done with school and work, head home and be there with my mom. I know me not being there on Mother's Day will make her sad in some ways. But we get to do our yearly Ednita Nazario's concert.

     Five days, seven things to do. And by things I mean schoolwork (finals, essays and such). Yet, I am not as stressed as I should be. I've been doing everything greatly so far. I am sure that as the departure date gets near I will start going crazy stressed about stupid stuff that can be resolved easily. At least I have found a way to calm down when I feel like this.

     No bags done. No visa yet. I need to memorise all the information about the host family in case they interview me in the Chinese Consulate. Haven't bought the host family's presents yet. I kind of have some idea of what I will get them. Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events books for the girls,  Puerto Rican rum for the host father (Don Q or Bacardi) and no idea for the host mom (Comment ideas please!). Women are always the hardest.

Professor is talking about monkeys stealing watermelons in Lajas, PR. This... wow.

Tautness

May 18, 2010

"I was calling you. I was about to leave the house and sleep in the street today. I didn't do it mainly because of N.  Also, I knew people would worry about me. I just... don't know." - She wrote

"Take it easy. You know I have your back. Call me tomorrow when you wake up. I love you. Don't worry, it's just menopause." - Her friend replied

... 

     I've been thinking about how what seems important in life changes with age. I remember wanting to run away from my house a couple times when I was a teenager. Yet, now that I think about it I had the stupidest reasons to do so. Yes, my mom drove me crazy. But who's mother doesn't drive them crazy from time to time? Life was so simple back then. It still is in many ways. Funny how time passes and priorities change. What seemed important a few years ago now seem so trivial. I guess we've all been here, and it will keep being this way until I no longer live.

Oh! Just remembered I need to send copy of my Chinese L visa to the Au Pair company ... DONE!

     Let's talk about the visa now that we are at it. Can someone explain to me why don't we have a Chinese Embassy or Consulate in Puerto Rico? Getting a Chinese visa here is as expensive as buying your own flight to Washington DC and doing it yourself. I am not lying or exaggerating. The problem is that the F visa (Business/Cultural Exchange) sometimes requires a interview. So in the event that they ask for an interview, I would be paying the expensive visa fees from Puerto Rico plus the flight to Washington DC anyways. So I decided to just go to Chicago, take care of the paperwork, since I am already there, see one of my favourite bands play live and just make the most of whatever happens. 

     As my departure day comes closer I get more and more excited. I want to say I am terrified because I am going to be actually living in a foreign country, not knowing but a few simple words of the language we talk about, in the home of someone else taking care of the thing that's more precious to them, their kids; but in reality as days pass the fear decreases. I am pretty independent and I know moving around and finding new friends and such won't be really hard, it will be like starting from the bottom (I can't help but to sing Drake's song in my head while writing this) and I love the idea. I think it partially has to do with the fact that I have bigger things to worry about now. A bigger fear to say so.

     I have so many schoolwork to do. About 5-6 (or more) essays, a physics homework (more like final test) and work. Add the fact that I have to move out my current apartment by Thursday, and that won't be easy since I have a lot of stuff in my room. At least I have some amazing friends who will help me out. So much stress right now. I like to think that at the end, all this work and effort will be totally worth it.

I still need a place to stay in Chicago though... *sighs* Time to go back to work.

Oblige

"You are smart, but soooooooo lazy! If you were more responsible, you would do so much better in school" - Every person I've met since college

...

     Tomorrow I'll be done with the last papers of the medical examination for the Au Pair Program. I need to wake up at 7am, get the different test results, take my Theories of Modern Politics test and then head to the doctor's office to get the papers signed. The nice woman in charge of my case is on holidays and I have a man doing my paperwork now. Feels weird since she and I already had a connection after all these months (or so I feel). I hope she gets back soon so she can answer all of my new questions. Just one more month until I am in Beijing. So excited and scared at the same time.

     It's funny how I love reading science fiction books, yet I can't sit through a chapter of any book for a class without taking ten bathroom breaks. I'm on my last weeks of class, which means there is a lot of pressure on us right now. Tests, essays, bonus point projects and such is what these weeks bring.  Actually, I have a test in less than 24 hours. I have read only the title of the theme, yet here I am writing this blog while I listening to Bach. I just love procrastination. Don't get me wrong, I have average grades (above average in Political Sciences), but I do accept I am irresponsible when it comes to school work. On the other hand, I am surprisingly responsible in my professional life. I always get on time, exceed in what I do and am never absent unless I feel really sick. Why can I be like that in school too?

     Apart from all the school work and Au Pair things, my mind is running crazy with the notion of leaving for Seattle/Vancouver on Wednesday. I haven't made my suitcase yet, or the laundry for that matter. Been procrastinating so much lately. Guess tomorrow will be a long day. I'll just go watch a movie now with a friend...

P.S. If you are reading this Monday April 14th, 2014 remember to watch the lunar eclipse tonight. It will be amazing.