Deter

Dec. 29, 2011

My diary

February 12, 2007

?

I don't know what to tell you

...

I have so much school work this week, I just shouldn't be writing the blog.

     I feel like it will be a good week. How can it not be when Tuesday started with us watching Ip Man in our Chinese class? I watched this movie a few years ago and really enjoyed it. Add to that the fact that there was a table full of Puerto Rican traditional candy for sale at my Faculty's lobby. The fat person that resides inside me was so happy.

     After a little incident that happened this week I feel the need to make something clear: (if I write about you) don't take things so seriously. Since I was 15 I've always used writing as a way to let out  some steam and organise my thoughts. Originally I started this blog because of my experience as an Au Pair, but now that I am done with that, I just write of random life things and thoughts. It's like a supplementary writing to my actual diary. Raw things are usually written here. So once again, don't take it so seriously.

      Now... this week is Halloween!! Do I have a costume? No. Do I plan to go to a party? I may do something at my place (I will let you come if you bring drinks and chocolates). Do I plan to dress up? I always do. Best part about Halloween is the day-after-candy-sale at stores. My sweet-tooth goes crazy buying chocolates. Mmmm... peanut butter Snickers... *drools*

     Wednesday was an unexpected free and alone day. I had no class (or at least I didn't go to my morning class), so I stayed and took a day off to treat myself to Netflix and other streaming sites. I really love spending time with myself. It gives me an opportunity to both clear my head and think about life. I wish people could see more the beauty in silence, in being alone from time to time. We live such hectic lives nowadays. Slow down, take a deep breath, relax, think a bit, keep going.

     My weekend was not so fun. I think part of what made it that way is that I didn't have my partner in crime with me. K was out having fun in Universal Horror Nights while jobless and busy me was stuck in the apartment studying (such responsable person). Okay, I did study but I also went out. Let's start with Friday...

     I had to drive home to leave my car there. It has been heating up a lot lately and some other car related stuff needed to be done. Had to stop and wait for my mom at the hair salon. I decided to get a haircut since I was there. After, my mom decided to head to the mall and buy some sexy halloween costumes for her so we could go out on Saturday. Later, I was happy to find out that my boyfriend "by mistake" had bought and sent me the book Gone Girl. Finally back to my apartment. The rest of the night was... complicated. Drinks, music, people, kisses, arguments, conversations, messages, calls that never came. It all ended with a feeling of anger burning in my chest. 

     I remember hearing once that when women go out, they should only pay for the first drink. I've seen how many of them just stand there, flirting with guys who look like they could pay for a drink. The thing is that most time it is the guy they don't like who buys the drink. It angers me how they aren't polite enough to hold a five minute conversation with them. Yes, I know that a free drink does not mean you have to talk much less sleep with anyone, but as a good gesture just thank that person and at least ask for their names, even if you forget it the second after they tell you. It takes courage to buy someone a drink, and I consider it a big compliment. I feel that the least I can do is smile, give thanks and have some small talk. It doesn't kill you. It makes you look approachable and polite. "Good" men like women, not spoiled girls.

That's enough words. Now quick points!

• Dressed as Cruella Devile for Saturday's costume party. Taking advantage of my half blonde, half black hair. 
• My mom was a sexy nurse that same night.
• I've never dressed as sexy something. I guess I didn't get that from my mom.
• I have a hand-in test tomorrow that I will probably hand-in Wednesday.
• Marx... Lenin... Dos Santos... I will never finish this.
• I don't have a test on Wednesday. Yay! (I live by rule #32)
• Benedict Cumberbatch as The Sorcerer Supreme made my day.
• Do any of you want to pay me a trip to Seattle? I will be forever  grateful and will pay back with stuff.
• Can this week be over?
• Can this semester be over?
• Can I be New Years Eve already?
• Even if "NO" is the easiest answer, say "YES" please... 

Time to read. Sadness.

(:

Maybe we should project this out into the world...

Gape

My diary

March 20th, 2007

(Post written by my boyfriend back then)

     Muñequita, you have given meaning to my life. When my soul lacked hope and my heart had forgotten the meaning of the word LOVE, you appeared in my destiny. 

     I will never forget you, even if destiny makes us a foul play and we loose each other (which I highly doubt).

     How to forget the tenderness in your eyes, the softness of your hands, your beautiful voice, your body...; however, without doubt the most beautiful thing about you, what made me fall in love, you unique personality, affectionate, sweet; hard to forget.

I love you with all my heart,

C.A.

...

Why can't any story begin with "I was having this amazing ice cream..." 

Life happens. Sometimes I just don't have the time to write.

     Right now my roommates are reading my last blog post out loud. It's just too funny. It makes me question if all you read it in the same voice they are reading it. If you are, thank you. You get how non-serious this blog is.

Tuesday (October 7). A few things happened that day that I will list because of lazy not going into detail reasons.

• I got to see my friends G and JC, whom I hadn't seen in a long time. We had a nice lunch together. 
• I found out what was the application process for the after-college-job I want.
• Someone I "dated" called just to ask me if I knew someone who sold Adderall. Just because I used to be in Natural Sciences doesn't mean I know prescription drug dealers. (I've made some terrible dating choices, I know) 
• I had a drunk person come by apartment and start screaming my name  at 10pm.
• I couldn't finish studying for my test (replacement) because I had a drunk person trying to paint my hair with a black Sharpie.
• I was not a happy camper at the end of the night.

     It kind of upsets me when people who kicked you out of their life want to push themselves back in just when you are happy again. I personally think that it can be possible to be great friends with someone you've dated before. But what happens when you feel that person getting too clingy again? Most people would be "just tell him/her off!", but in my case I just KNOW the person will act defensive if I try and do that. I started trying distance myself, but then I get a drunk at my door. It's kind of frustrating because I honestly don't want it to affect my current relationship. That person had the chance to be with me and didn't appreciate it. It's been more than 6 months since the brake up with me (it wasn't even my choice!), it's time to move on to friendship. Not flirty-I-want-to-sleep-with-you friendship, but a nice healthy friendship.

Wednesday (October 8). I really need it to be Friday.

Then we get to this last week. Quick points!!

• I have nothing.
• OH! I went to Ponce on Saturday. That's where the picture was taken. Just wanted to get my mind off of things. Didn't really work that well, but at least I had a good sleep after that!
• I was attacked by a water fountain today at campus. I will not go into details, since I need to keep this PG. I will just say it felt somewhat like rape.
• I have a test tomorrow and I haven't read anything. Yes, I write this in almost every post. But it's because I am irresponsible like that sometimes...
• I found a organic market. Yay to eating healthy!!
• Remember kids: prostitution is illegal.

Feeling. Sick. Don't. Want. To. Study... 

(:

Ken

My diary

October 8, 2006

     ... Love goes well but badly. Badly because I can't find a way to end things up with KV. All because he tried to experiment with me, in other words, throughout a month he treated me really badly, like he didn't love me anymore. Since then I was greatly disappointed and things are not the same from my part, and now he's back to being all lovely with me. Among the things that bother me is the fact that while I treated him well, he didn't even care about calling me, and now that I don't care, he calls me every night without a miss and he leaves messages saying: "My love call me as soon as you can. I am concerned because I haven't heard about you in a long time and I worry if you are alright. Take care, be good and I love you". Hearing me kills me inside a bit because I don't want to hurt him. I want things between us to end up in a good note.

...

Today is my boyfriend's birthday, woot woot!!  ^-^

     I would love to tell you guys that I've been up to fun things, but sadly that's not the case. I have a "no studying on weekends" policy in my life that I had to break this weekend. I did have some fun on Friday (I'll tell you about it later in the post), but Saturday and Sunday was wasted on my books completely. I am kind of impressed with myself this semester. I don't know if this has been the best one to date, but at least I've been giving it some extra effort. Maybe it's because I want to finish my degree soon, maybe I have matured... nope. It's the wanting to finish. Definitive. 

     Last week... what about last week? This is why I try and write daily on the posts. If not, Monday comes again and my short term memory doesn't let me remember anytime before Friday. Maybe if I start backwards I can remember. So let's do today first. I learned how to say/write "I love you" in Mandarin! It's "我爱你" (wǒ ài nǐ). Let's break it down:

• 我 (wǒ) = me
• 爱 (ài) = to have affection (verb); love (noun)
• 你 (nǐ) = you

So there you go. The more you know!

     Because of homework, quiz and tests stuff I had to run around campus looking for internet (wifi is really bad in campus) so that I could finish all the work I've been doing for a few days now. At least one professor decided to skip class today, so that gave me some extra time. I am lucky enough to have some good friends. This person (we will name MR) that I used to like recently became really good friends with me. We've doing some nice activities together, and today MR even bought me some pizza! I had to walk all the way to Law School (damn them law school students!) to get it, but it was totally worth it. 

     Now the weekend. Sunday was library (Law School again...). I don't plan on studying law, I just needed to get some books for a research I am doing and that was the only place in campus where I could find them. I do like the silence there is in that library. Moving on to Saturday. I spent the whole day at my place doing Chinese homework. "It's Friday, Friday! Gotta get down on Friday!" No? Okay. Sorry. Since I knew I would have to study the weekend, I decided to take Friday evening free. Original plan was to take myself on a date. Dinner and movies, you know, the usual. It ended up being a date with my other half, my best friend K, and I wouldn't had it any other way. While in dinner, MR called saying "I won two tickets to Teatro Breve's "Noche de Jevas 2". I can't go, so I will give them to you and you can take K. You can thank me by coming over to my bar after the stand-up comedy is over. Drinks are on me". So you can all guess how the rest of the night went. Theatre, bar, free drink and a random visit to a club. Sounds like a long night, but I was home by 3am (I usually go until 5am). It was fun.

     See! I am starting to remember events from the days before. My mind works in mysterious ways...  Thursday was debate day. I was a panellist on a debate from my International Political Economy class. It was really fun and it was totally horrifying. Once again, I am not good talking in front of large crowds. I just made one (amazing and smart) question and I was trembling more than that thing that vibrates that's in my desk. Yes, I put my phone on vibrate when I am in my desk.

Do I have any quick points? Hmmm...

• I need to stop eating so much pizza. I've been gaining some really unwanted weight.
• I love pizza too much to stop eating it. I should just work out.
• Nope. I am too lazy to work out. 
• I don't think there is a possible solution to this that involves not getting fat, not working out and keep eating pizza whenever I want.
• K got me some ice cream... I don't remember when. But he knows me so well. 我爱他. (他 stands for "him")
• Can I get a tattoo for Christmas?
• I want to read Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn. It's been a while since last time I read a book and it hurts.
• October is here, which means Oktoberfest + Halloween. Perfection, I know.

I need a cool sounding closing line...

(: